What’s on my mind?
The good type. When it does pop up , I have to run away lest I start spilling my venom all over the place. Of course you must know by now it happens often. Others call it ‘depression’ some ‘mania’ but I choose a more friendly word.
Picture someone telling you:
” You are confused” rather than
a) You are mad(angry) or
b) You are stupid
c) You are ( anything that describes an inconsistent AND volatile sense of direction in all forms of the word ‘direction’ i.e mental ,verbal,nutritional, physical with the most common form being emotional( I don’t know why…oh wait- man is an emotional being.)
” You are confused”.
When I hear this, I know I am in a bad place. For about two seconds I wish I were an ostrich so I would have an evolutionary reason as to why I can’t fly.
But again,the next thing that comes to my mind is the fact that whoever is telling me this is going to help me out. How do I know that?
Actually, I don’t. I just have a lot of faith.
When I tell myself I am confused , I automagically start seeking ways to remedy the situation. I do the smartest thing first.
To my notes,books,dictionary,bible whatever will give me a ‘sense of presence’.
It is there RIGHT THEN. I can SEE it, I can FEEL it.
For normal humans,it’s a friend, a father, a sister, a brother.
You should know by now I’m not human.
But we all need someone,something to guide us back from Confusion Avenue.
It’s the end of the year. The last day actually. I still don’t believe in End-of- Year Resolutions but I believe in fighting world confusion or *insert what suits your case*.
We need faith.
*70% of the time we don’t know whether we will see the next day or the next hour!
What proves you will survive 2013?
Nothing but faith.
Faith in whatever supreme being rules our existence.
When I’m confused, I know that the confusion is my physical body reminding me he( I prefer thinking he is a man) is not certain to make it. He reminds me I’m weak and doubtful and mere human.
I run to my books to search for answers.
I see how faithless I’ve become.
I recollect myself.
Then I tell my body-” You have no idea how much He loves me”.
How do I know?
I just caught my faith back.
Happy New Year Folks.
You must believe in something. Believe and have faith.
You will fall.
True. But it’s at the bottom of the the pit that your faith will pull you up again and again and again….and…
*Ok you caught me ( or maybe you didn’t) it’s 100% of the time