It’s getting worse…but better….how is that even possible?

I did not take a New year resolution.
10 days into 2014 and already I have no blog posts up.
Despicable.
I am sorry for that dear reader. I might not be Oprah or Fotso Victor or 2face idibia but I know you are reading this and that means a lot to me. You deserve better.
A lot has been happening and as much as I always have something to do, I realize the only thing stopping me from doing what I really want to do (writing, etc.) is me. That’s stopping now.
I will self-publish during this year.
I am tired of counting on people.
Why?
For starters, everyone has a life-ONE life. You can’t live for other persons. I don’t know whether there is a law governing quantification of pain or trouble or sorrow; but one thing I know for sure is- my pinch could be your blow (I hope that makes sense).
I am gifted. So are you and everyone still chanced to walk on earth, and while we are alive, we choose to either be “...busy living or busy dying”– Andy Dufresne,The Shawshank Redemption 1994 –Awesome movie- If you haven’t watched it…you should.
Blue pill or red pill, the choice is ours.
It’s getting worse:
1. My desire to impact the world around me is taking me to various levels. As I write this, I have a meeting with a writer tomorrow just for the sake of meeting ‘someone like me’! Well…not entirely since SHE ACTUALLY WRITES!!
2. I did not yet tell you about the GOLDEN JUBILEE CELEBRATION of my alma mater – St. Bede’s College Ashing-Kom my former boarding school .I will be putting up a post on the whole journey ( together with the pictures) on Sunday. Sadly…I lost one of my phones during this trip. I still have survivor’s guilt …
3. I have grown thin. Well, that is what almost everyone is saying…I don’t how true that is. However, I am not anorexic. A friend suggested: “When you are worried or stressed, you lose weight no matter how much you eat”. I truly hope she is wrong.
I know she’s not.
I once watched a TED conference on viewing stress more positively (Kelly MCGONIGAL- Health Psychologist JUNE 2013. I’m working on that.
4. As for my love life, it is truly getting worse. I don’t know what love is (Note to self: Write a post on this) but I clearly have not met with what ‘mainstream’ media portrays as ‘falling IN love’. May be I just use my brain too much to analyze feelings…maybe I’m a robot. Meh.

But Better:
1. I have returned to reading My favorite Blogger and writer . He has been inspiring me since May 2012 when I decided to do a total switch from a Medical Laboratory Science undergraduate degree to one in Journalism and Mass Communication.
Since I don’t have constant internet access, (and I have finally come to terms with that part of my life) I have approximately 280MB of saved files from his blog. He knows it not, but he is my mentor. Do read his blog : he is funny, smart and always has a lesson you or someone in your environment could benefit from .In fact…I will be writing a review about his recent book –Choose Yourself-soon. He tweets @jaltucher
2. I have grown-up. This should be a full blog post-I think have grown-up… here is why. I now can fully acknowledge that I don’t like being single. I dig intimacy too much to waste time on a meaningless relationship. As much as I fear trusting people…I enjoy when I can finally count on someone and talk up to 1am without feeling bored or tired.
3. My school results are on the rise, together with my ‘human’ relationships. A good friend helped me with a lot of diplomacy lately and made me realize that; when you are on the wrong, do everything to fix (peacefully) whatever you have destroyed AND do WHATEVER YOU MUST- BEG,PLEAD,KNEEL if you have to in order to leave peacefully. Always forgive and try to forget.
Reason: You don’t know tomorrow.
4. I bought a couple of books two days ago. I hardly find books worth buying but this time I did- Blue Bloods by Melissa De La Cruz, Vampire Academy by Rachelle Mead (I was simply impressed by the youthful nature of the author) and most especially: “Thirteen Stories by Eudora Welty”- I know I will learn more about writing short stories by reading them rather than reading : How to write Short Stories. It did cost me some money though…plus the cable bill…plus my new keyboard and mouse for my writing sprees…and I have no idea how I will survive the month on my current budget.
I don’t know if things will get better with time. As the year rolls on, things will happen.
I will make my dent on the universe. But right now…this song says it all about how I feel…I am listening to it as I end this…enjoy…. Cheers.

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