A Thousand Expectations

I don’t want to settle. For less is “not my portion”. My portion of love I deserve. My portion of love I seek.

I don’t want to settle. To pretend I have no expectations. You should expect much from me. From me you deserve more.

I don’t wish to settle. I know what a non-50/50 feels like. It feels like an undeserved plate of shit. My place of peace is full of sheets, stained loved-drugged sheets. And that, is not what I seek.

I am not going to settle. It might take me years. It could take my life. It should be hard. It will be.

I can’t settle. My gut tells me I need better. My eyes say I have what I need. My friends tell me to kill you, dear expectations.

Looking back, I’ve had this coming. I am a lone wolf. By nature, reinforced by nurture. Nurtured by logic and experience. By lack and mistrust.

Live by day, hope by night. Time will flow. Expectations or not. After all, meaningless is my might.

Only He knows.

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