My heartfelt gratitude to all who listened to the first episode. It was an almost unanimous observation that the pilot was way too long and that I may need to structure my thoughts for the subsequent episodes. In light of that, I have bad news for you.
Well, good and bad news.
First, the bad news. This episode is not particularly structured. There is a central theme, and I experimented with a guest in the second part of the show. The role of friendship did not pop up as I had intended, but I still think you’re going to enjoy the discussion between my special guest and I.
Now, the good news is: this episode is shorter!! And, there is a real sponsor this time. Yeaup. 2545 Business Consulting sponsored this edition of the podcast and I will be attending the Business Networking Soiree where there will be business and other professionals. As guest, the very talented Max Lyonga. I am sure I’ll be in for a great evening!
Other good news: this may be my podcast and an avenue for me to share my thoughts with the world, but what I care most about is having a great laugh. That is why in the second part of the podcast, my best friend and I talk about other friends. Basically, we spend the evening laughing at each other.
In the end, I think I failed the point of the podcast. Which brings us to the end of the updates and the reason for this post.
It may seem pretty pointless given that these people could still be reading this post. Here, is my attempt to justify my actions. Not that you can change my mind or anything.
1. I take life very seriously.
I don’t have time to waste on people who think I am not worth their time. If you’re my friend, I am willing to go the ends of the earth for you. In fact, when I say I have few friends, I mean this with pride. There are many people I work with, and will work with, but my close circle is made of a limited number of individuals. My parents, my siblings and a few other humans. I don’t want to see, hear or talk to anyone who does not see me to be as important as they are.
Yeup. I have chosen to stay single for as long as it is required for me to build the kind of environment I would want to live in. This is a choice I made after years of suffering and hurting many amazing women. Mind you, this doesn’t mean I enjoy being lonely. I am okay with it. I need it to think, to write. Heck to make the podcasts. My ideas flow when I am in my zone, alone . And until I find someone who gets that, I will not put someone’s daughter in torment again. Plus, I’m tired of drama. I’m too old for this shit.
3. Friendships are born. And they can die.
I speak enthusiastically about my friends and the people who mean so much to me. I’d like to emphasize that I also know that sometimes, some relationships just…you know…die. People outgrow each other. Interests change. People travel. Responsibilities, obligations, goals change. And that, again, is okay. C’est la vie. I love my family and I love my friends. I will do everything for us the stay happy. Except kill myself. I love myself more.
It is just recently that I am making the choice to be honest with who I am and what I want. And it is still difficult. Usually, when I meet people for the first time, I try to ‘comport’ myself. I try to fit in. I change my laugh. I talk less. I become very… cosmetic. What happens is, I give off this serious vibe (throw in my geeky glasses and the mix is complete), and many people think I am this super smart, super serious dude who never laughs. Well, guess what? You’re…almost right. I love fun! But my kind of fun is geeky. Watching Marvel movies, reading comics, and listening to podcasts. That is fun to me! And when I meet other … humans, I get uber curious. That last part may be my Kryptonite. I ask way too many questions. I’d prefer you think I’m awkward the first day we meet.
I’m okay with that too.
5. Negativity is the worst thing you can let around you if you’re looking to make your life better in any way.
Therefore, I shamelessly cut-off anyone who makes me feel horrible about myself or about my projects. That said, there is a difference between constructive critique and a hater. And when a comment is made from a place of love, you can feel it. Some people, however, are damaged (possessed?) and would not mind bringing others down the pit of depression, self-hate and endless remorse. Nope. I’m outty. I only talk to the people who respect me and who care about me. Of course this is the world and some people cannot be avoided. I do what I can. And when that doesn’t work…
I know that in a couple of years, I may have figured myself out. Or not. I am not the same person I was yesterday, I won’t be the same tomorrow. And that is the same for everyone. I believe in heaven and in hell. And I believe that Jesus Christ came to save mankind. I have no intention to suffer eternal damnation. That, from the sound of it, should suck. Terribly. Therefore, I prefer to live my life as though Jesus did die for me. Because if in the end, He didn’t, well I don’t mind. And if ( and I believe) He did, that would be totally awesome. I don’t know about you, but, given that this journey is short, I’ll prefer to be happy in this world and the next.