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My Last Post on WordPress, The New Road, and a New Home

So, dear reader, we have a lot of things to talk about since the last time. But not today.

I wish this were clickbait. It isn’t.


TL: DR Version: 
I’m leaving this blog. Here’s where you can find me from now own.

  1. Subscribe to my Newsletter.
  2. Follow me on Medium.
  3. Follow me on Twitter.
  4. Follow me on Instagram.
  5. Connect with me on Quora

Here’s some of what I’ve written while I was away.

  1. Before I Could Date Anyone, I had to Date Myself
  2. 28 personal truths from 28 years of living
  3. Is this what it takes to become a writer?
  4.  Kiss Me Already 
  5. Why Share Your Crises?

A lot has happened since the last post I wrote on WordPress. ‘A lot’ is an understatement, actually. ‘Too much’ would be more appropriate.

There is no easy way to say this: I’ve outgrown the blog. I’ve outgrown the name. I’ve outgrown the kid who wrote about his heartbreaks, the kid who wrote about his crushes.

“You see, it’s not what’s happening to you now or what has happened in the past that determines who you become. Rather, it’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them, that will determine your ultimate destiny.” -Tony Robbins

I write to you from Yaounde. I’m in my friend’s studio living room. There’s a large bookshelf ahead of me. My laptop is resting on my jean wrapped thighs. The warm air interrupts the mosquitoes’ dance. There is eclectic laughter coming from the room in irregular intervals from two of my poetry troupe mates. Deecey’s new album is blazing on the speakers. It’s minutes to midnight.

I know it’s time to say goodbye.

The Mito Mito Poetry Troupe( minus Mafor Glory)

I started here. My poetry, my writing, everything. As I write this, I feel the weight of this decision. I’m almost tempted to just let it be–to let the page exist and not bother about updating it.

Part of me thinks it doesn’t matter. That I can let the page be here for posterity. That I can simply continue where I have been writing more and more for the past two years.

Part of me doesn’t think that’s fair. You, my reader, deserve better. You deserve to know why.

Updating WordPress and Medium has been a hassle, for one. Watching Medium grow my audience, getting the kind of engagement I wanted and using a platform that I think was built for the kind of writing I want to do, all this, and more, have slowly crystallized my decision to jump ship.

However, at some point, I wanted to do both. I wanted to write on the two platforms, doubling down and doing more. But, the truth is, I don’t want to.

My friend is working on my own site ( which, by the way, will be on WordPress’s CMS), but this blog, the reason why it was created has come to pass.

Kamga no longer has a blog.

Hi. I no longer have a blog. Bye.

It started as a place to hide my thoughts, A place to share my woes as a young twentysomething. It was a journey I have enjoyed.

But that kid, the horny angsty writer, he’s done.

You may realize that my writing is no longer as sarcastic or fluffy as it used to. I can barely recognize myself as I type this. Which, to me, is a good thing.

But when it comes to those, like you, who followed me because of that voice, it’s not fair. You gave me light when I was in the dark of my depression, and it’s time to show you the man you made, in all his newfound superpowers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The New Road

“You can’t change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” -Jim Rohn

I now boast over 2000 followers on Medium. As I write this, I am doing the finishing touches on my Newsletter, and I am strongly considering a Vlog. I also just recovered from Malaria, so I have had a lot of time to think. Together with friends, we started a poetry troupe. We had multiple events and were even invited here to Yaounde to perform at a private event.

I’ve had a really great time.

Howard and me just before the event

Because I was indecisive about whether to leave WordPress or not, I used a lot of mental energy justifying my inaction. Not anymore.

At the bottom of this post, you will find links to the main avenues where I intend to keep providing the kind of writing that made you fall in love with me in the first place.

Especially, my Newletter. I am really, really excited about this one.  It’s going to be the kind of content you’d love to consume, share and interact with.

Of course, I will be using these avenues to generate revenue. But, this will not be spammy or click-bait. My poetry collection, for example, and my other books, or products, or services, would be the kinds of material you’d receive occasionally.

Keyword: occasionally.

For the most case, you’d get stuff I found and thought was cool. Articles I read, podcasts I listened to, videos I watched or even videos from me that I think you deserve because you have chosen to give me your time.

The New Road requires growth, value creation and making money in a way that gets everyone, especially you my audience,  to win.

A New Home

“Giving things up isn’t just about sacrifice. It’s also about gain. When you give things up you create an opening in your life for other things. By saying no to everything that’s not aligned with your essential priorities you make space for what it is”.- Srinivas Rao

So, what does this all mean?

For starters, my content will be no longer be on this blog.

Then, if you want to stay in the loop for exclusive material, behind the scenes of my projects, material that may or may not reach the majority of the internet, you should do the following :

  1. Subscribe to my Newsletter.
  2. Follow me on Medium.
  3. Follow me on Twitter.
  4. Follow me on Instagram.

I curated the five pieces I thought you’d enjoy.

  1. Before I Could Date Anyone, I had to Date Myself
  2. 28 personal truths from 28 years of living
  3. Is this what it takes to become a writer?
  4.  Kiss Me Already 
  5. Why Share Your Crises?

You deserve better. And I want to serve you better. Through my Newsletter, I intend to do this at a more personal level.

You’re welcome to join me today. Sign-up.

Thank you for everything.

Always,
Tchassa Kamga.

 

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Broken

Old respite, I bid thee farewell.
I’m gone. To a place I do not know well.

I broke my branch before I flew.
I’m not going back to the place we knew.

My old friend, I bid thee farewell.
Do not think my actions aren’t swell.

Caution :you may not recognize me.
I’m broken. In pain. And I bleed.

A pain I’ll need.

The Colored Rains of Life

Built to change.

To embrace deformity.
To morph, twist and shape-shift bound in flesh chains.
To caress, and vomit neglect.
To flee, regret and long true love.
To abhor, empathize and awe at true hunger.
To hate, love or tandem another soul.

From birth to death, we acknowledge our dearth.
Inadequacy. Frailty. Longings. Desires. Pain.
Alas till she ends.
Our dance in the colored rains of life.

The Boy and The Man

The boy sat quiet. In silent determination he crawled through the memory. He had lost his best friend. His father. It was a truth now as it was when he first heard three weeks earlier.

The mother had shed tears over the phone and his hand had trembled. Not enough to let the phone slip but enough to silent the ruckus in the hostel.

“What is it?” his neighbor had asked.

Maybe it was the look of loss or the aura of regret from words unaltered. The boy could not speak at the time. He was equally surprised when through his mouth the words slipped.

“My Dad’s gone.”

The kind words had played like a broken record, chanting empathy they would never feel.

It didn’t bother the boy that his neighbor felt bad.

He wasn’t worried about his phone either.

The boy was not ready to be a man.

He did not want to be a man.

He knew what it meant and had just heard a real man had left him.

Now the words etched the sad cave:

“I am not going to be here forever.”

The boy was going to be a man.

What choice did he have?

The last man had just exited.

I don’t need your permission

When you’re angry, you’re regretting. You think he should have said ‘Sorry’. Or she should not have spoken that way. You’re visiting the past.

When you’re scared of starting a new venture, of talking to strangers or starting a business, or asking the cute girl or boy in class out because he/she will think you’re weird, you’re time travelling. You’ve gone to the future and you’re judging the results of an experiment you’ve not carried out.

The earth has been around for billions of years. Chances are it will be around when you and I die. Why? Because we both won’t live for more than 200 years. Life is only as insignificant (or significant) as you want it to be.

Make an impact. Create something. Speak out. Be original. Be a radical. Be different. Live now and be happy. Life is more ‘choice’ than ‘privilege’.

I don’t not need permission from anyone to stop time travelling. We all have fears, goals, aspirations, regrets. However, I choose to be here.

Now.

I chose to gather experiences and be alive. To create. To write. To talk to you. With you. Together, let us create ideas that live for billions of years.

Now.

I don’t need anyone’s permission to kill bad habits. And neither do you.

On Abortion, Homosexuality and Parenting

(c) Flickr user Sabian Maggy

(c) Flickr user Sabianmaggy

A friend of mine wants to terminate her three months pregnancy. That came out too soft. She wants to kill her baby. Too harsh maybe? She wants to abort the child growing in her womb.

She had been having her period as usual and only went to the hospital because she didn’t ‘feel well’. That was a few days ago. From what she told me, she broke-up with the father of the baby and he either has no idea about the pregnancy (she can’t reach his phone) or  doesn’t want to hear about it. Either way, he’s not here now. Who am I to judge him? I don’t know why he did it nor where he is, but letting this young woman go through this ordeal without someone who is as equally responsible is  the true mark of a coward.

Yesterday evening, she told me of her intention and asked for my assistance. No, I am not a doctor. She needs the money to carry the procedure. I am not going to go into a pro or anti-abortion debate. I don’t need one because I believe in two things:

  1. Free will
  2. Choice

You have the freewill to choose your thoughts and beliefs. I have mine. And when it comes to abortion, I won’t agree with anyone that a child should be aborted. Ever.

I am a man. I will never be pregnant. I don’t know what it means to have a child.

On all three counts, you are right. I don’t know what it means to have a baby. Heck, I don’t even have a child. So, who am I to give childbearing or parenting advice?

I am a human. And my only reason is this: I was born. You are able to read this because my mother chose to have me. Also, she did not do it alone. A woman does not conceive alone. That, also, is why I don’t agree with homosexuality. I will not kill a lesbian or gay. Or not talk to them or shun them. No. We are all puny humans and die anyway. Plus, it is pointless. Only God judges us. But, I will not agree that being a homosexual is ‘okay’ for me.

I don’t know if homosexuality is a mental illness. I don’t even know if people are born homosexuals. Being born is fine. And there are worse illnesses. I would not be surprised if I have friends who are homosexuals. Knowing you are a homosexual doesn’t stop me from interacting with you. I don’t have the monopoly of opinions and I won’t be as stupid as to decide who has the right to do what. But you won’t find me anywhere fighting for Gay Rights. I could fight for human rights because everyone is human, But I won’t fight with what my gut disagrees. So no, I don’t think homosexuals should get married. I won’t pull them out of the court but I won’t rejoice when they succeed. At least, I still reserve my right not ‘not be happy’. Before being a homosexual, you’re a person and you have as much Human Rights as I do.

Every person deserves justice, fairness and freedom of expression.

And, no. I don’t think women should abort their babies. I think they should choose to have their babies when they want because a child is the sum of creation. A child is the most beautiful thing human can make. UI designers might disagree.

I don’t know how I will convince my friend to keep her baby. She doesn’t want to tell her parents. I won’t tell either. She came to me because she trusted me and I am not stupid. Trust is the world’s currency. Her mind seems pretty made up. I will try though.

I called another friend whom I thought could help me in my quest. As we were chatting, I stumbled upon the possible reason why an unwanted child could creep on a young university student

“I guess it’s the Molyko virus. Or just plain stupidity. Or what happens when parents don’t make their children comfortable with them”.

So here are a few personal facts: I hide things from my parents. I am not a saint. I have hurt people’s feelings. Intentionally. I have things I regret. And there are things I have done or said I am ashamed of.

  1. Free will
  2. Choice

I have chosen to NOT say those things. And I have learned to choose my thoughts. Like my mentor says: ‘Don’t time travel’. No one can change the past, and no one can predict the future. So why waste valuable energy?

I love my parents. I am lucky to have them both alive. And I am grateful for them. Of course they have their weaknesses. And of course they have made me question my sanity every so often. But isn’t that what being a child is all about? There is no parenting manual .I don’t blame them for their effort.

Except for that time when they came late during the PTA when I was advertising the school magazine. I wish they saw me. They would have been so proud.

Nonsense. I know they are proud of me. They have said it many times.

Mom, Dad I love you both.

What if my mom had aborted me? Now you know why I can’t support abortion.

But life is full of blurred lines. Of humans with various backgrounds and of  thousands of reasons to do or not do whatever. I am but a tiny speck in the billions of souls.

But I am a speck. A speck born of two other specks. I am their speck and they gave me a home, shelter, love, food, care, protected me, vaccinated me, clothed me, and for the past 25 years have always told me this:

“Kamga, you did not ask to be born so, you are our responsibility. Whatever problem you have, talk to us. We are your parents. If you were terminally ill and feces was coming out of you, we will be very willing to carry your feces with our bare hands.”

The relationship I have with my parents has not always been good. I was an adolescent too. I am learning every day. From all indications, so are they.

My father is the first person I call when I do something awesome and I want to share. He reads my posts and encourages me to keep writing.  For 21 years he has been working on his start-up. If that is not a lifetime of courage for me, what is? My mother is the rock of my father’s house. But this is not a tribute.

I believe the reason why I can talk  comfortably (to an extent) with my parents, is because they chose to know and understand me better. That I felt they could listen to me and try as much as possible ( I have seen how difficult it is) to not judge me.

Being a parent is hard. I am not one. But my premise is simple: there is no manual, no school, no Faculty of Parenting and Childhood: Department of Dads. Having this new weird human who just eats, cries and shits must be a pretty interesting experience.

I can’t wait to have mine.

Many Cameroonian parents don’t know their children. I have not carried out the research. So sorry if I don’t have data to back this argument. Having spent 20 years with my peers in classrooms and lecture halls with  hundreds of conversations with young people in the privacy of dormitories and hostels, I can comfortably say that Cameroonian parents have no idea who their kids REALLY are.Or what they are capable of. Their true interests, potentials, dreams, hopes and aspirations and also their sins, evils, worries and regrets.  Of course there are exceptions. But I am not. I think my parents have an idea of who I am. But not entirely.

And I want to think that this poor understanding between parents and children expresses itself sometimes in the form of a daughter who has not slept for three days because she just discovered she is pregnant and believes her parents will kill her if she tells them.

This saddens me. Having to live in a shadow you have cast to hide who you are. Not being able to tell the person who brought you to this world how you feel and not having them celebrate how much you’ve grown. Or changed.

A child doesn’t remain a child forever. Yes, to our parents, we might remain  their babies till death. But we both know at some point, we want them to see us differently.

Parents seem to feel when this day draws close and some don’t take it so well. I guess watching your baby become a woman is like watching a caterpillar. Slowly transforming into a butterfly and knowing it would fly away.

Bad parenting comes from keeping the butterfly in a glass cage.

Do I blame parents for what their children turn out to be? Do I blame children for not trusting their parents and not being themselves?

  1. Free will
  2. Choice

I don’t know if she would keep the baby. I don’t know if her parents will kill her if they find out. I don’t know if homosexuals should be allowed to marry and adopt babies. I don’t know.

But I know I want that baby to live.

It’s getting worse…but better….how is that even possible?

I did not take a New year resolution.
10 days into 2014 and already I have no blog posts up.
Despicable.
I am sorry for that dear reader. I might not be Oprah or Fotso Victor or 2face idibia but I know you are reading this and that means a lot to me. You deserve better.
A lot has been happening and as much as I always have something to do, I realize the only thing stopping me from doing what I really want to do (writing, etc.) is me. That’s stopping now.
I will self-publish during this year.
I am tired of counting on people.
Why?
For starters, everyone has a life-ONE life. You can’t live for other persons. I don’t know whether there is a law governing quantification of pain or trouble or sorrow; but one thing I know for sure is- my pinch could be your blow (I hope that makes sense).
I am gifted. So are you and everyone still chanced to walk on earth, and while we are alive, we choose to either be “...busy living or busy dying”– Andy Dufresne,The Shawshank Redemption 1994 –Awesome movie- If you haven’t watched it…you should.
Blue pill or red pill, the choice is ours.
It’s getting worse:
1. My desire to impact the world around me is taking me to various levels. As I write this, I have a meeting with a writer tomorrow just for the sake of meeting ‘someone like me’! Well…not entirely since SHE ACTUALLY WRITES!!
2. I did not yet tell you about the GOLDEN JUBILEE CELEBRATION of my alma mater – St. Bede’s College Ashing-Kom my former boarding school .I will be putting up a post on the whole journey ( together with the pictures) on Sunday. Sadly…I lost one of my phones during this trip. I still have survivor’s guilt …
3. I have grown thin. Well, that is what almost everyone is saying…I don’t how true that is. However, I am not anorexic. A friend suggested: “When you are worried or stressed, you lose weight no matter how much you eat”. I truly hope she is wrong.
I know she’s not.
I once watched a TED conference on viewing stress more positively (Kelly MCGONIGAL- Health Psychologist JUNE 2013. I’m working on that.
4. As for my love life, it is truly getting worse. I don’t know what love is (Note to self: Write a post on this) but I clearly have not met with what ‘mainstream’ media portrays as ‘falling IN love’. May be I just use my brain too much to analyze feelings…maybe I’m a robot. Meh.

But Better:
1. I have returned to reading My favorite Blogger and writer . He has been inspiring me since May 2012 when I decided to do a total switch from a Medical Laboratory Science undergraduate degree to one in Journalism and Mass Communication.
Since I don’t have constant internet access, (and I have finally come to terms with that part of my life) I have approximately 280MB of saved files from his blog. He knows it not, but he is my mentor. Do read his blog : he is funny, smart and always has a lesson you or someone in your environment could benefit from .In fact…I will be writing a review about his recent book –Choose Yourself-soon. He tweets @jaltucher
2. I have grown-up. This should be a full blog post-I think have grown-up… here is why. I now can fully acknowledge that I don’t like being single. I dig intimacy too much to waste time on a meaningless relationship. As much as I fear trusting people…I enjoy when I can finally count on someone and talk up to 1am without feeling bored or tired.
3. My school results are on the rise, together with my ‘human’ relationships. A good friend helped me with a lot of diplomacy lately and made me realize that; when you are on the wrong, do everything to fix (peacefully) whatever you have destroyed AND do WHATEVER YOU MUST- BEG,PLEAD,KNEEL if you have to in order to leave peacefully. Always forgive and try to forget.
Reason: You don’t know tomorrow.
4. I bought a couple of books two days ago. I hardly find books worth buying but this time I did- Blue Bloods by Melissa De La Cruz, Vampire Academy by Rachelle Mead (I was simply impressed by the youthful nature of the author) and most especially: “Thirteen Stories by Eudora Welty”- I know I will learn more about writing short stories by reading them rather than reading : How to write Short Stories. It did cost me some money though…plus the cable bill…plus my new keyboard and mouse for my writing sprees…and I have no idea how I will survive the month on my current budget.
I don’t know if things will get better with time. As the year rolls on, things will happen.
I will make my dent on the universe. But right now…this song says it all about how I feel…I am listening to it as I end this…enjoy…. Cheers.