Valentine’s Day

A Valentine Chuckle- Scene One

The following scene takes place in less than 5 minutes.

Her chuckle did it for me. Like a snort but with a little whistle from her mouth. The loveliest sound in the milky way.
She was with a dude. Stylish. Well dressed. With those silly looking hairstyles young men wore these days. “Crepe”- they called it. He made her chuckle.
I’d never met them in my life, but I knew the reason I choked on my spit was very different from the hunger that brought my sister and me to ‘Kuchina Restaurant’ that afternoon. What the hell was Sandra asking at this time again?


I saw him look in my direction. Our eyes didn’t meet but I knew what had attracted him to our angle. Mama always said I laughed like a pig and Greg here, with the silly Crepe-thingy ,just loved making me laugh so he, in turn, could laugh at me. I loved his style. He was contemporary. But not my type.
“The Onlooker” on the other hand, was dressed simply. White shirt and jeans. Tucked in. A little too old fashioned for his age. He could be about…twenty something. At most 30.
Funny how he choked. I hope he doesn’t think I’m with…oh. No. He does. I need to do something. He’s with a lady but the resemblance is too keen. That must be his sister. Or is she?


My brother hardly comes to Buea. When he does, I get the chance to steal some quality time so he can tell me all about his new life. What better place than his favourite restaurant.
Ugh. That girl has a funny laugh. Like a pig. In a restaurant? Ew. That’s just gross. Why is Martin looking at her like that? Does he know her?
“ Do you know that girl?”
He chokes. Martin? Choking. Ok. Something is up. And isn’t about the spices in the air. We need to sit as far away frm that table as possible. Or…wait…no way…he’s actually taking us closer…he means for us to get closer to…them?
That other guy is kinda cute though.


Taking a beautiful girl out is the best thing that can happen to you in Buea on the 14th of February. Even if it is not you chick (like Piggy Cynthia here) you can just act as though she is. It’s the points that matter right? Massa…man na fine man… The sad thing is that I have already been friendzone by her massa…and the fact that she’s with me means she doesn’t even have a boyfriend for now.
Wait…her laughter has changed. Ever since that white shirt dude entered, her laugh is louder. It’s as though she’s now laughing on purpose.
Could it be that she is…

The broke Birthday Boy, Valentine’s Day and Other Mountain Tales

Just sayin’

Hey! How are you? 🙂 
I hear February is the month of love…pssh…whatever. I think every month is. And like every good Aquarius, I spent most of February (including my birthday) in my head.
Before I embark on a two-week forced offline mode –I hate school-I would love to share my month so far with you. Let me know how yours went…m’kay?
The Legend of the Broke Birthday boy
I turned 25 on the 8th of February. When I tell you my buddy Ewea had to remind me to set my birthdate on Facebook( yep, sometimes I wonder with whom I share my brain) I mean it. As soon as I did, birthday wishes started flooding my timeline. I guess without Facebook, I would have only my parents and my siblings (and 2 friends) say ‘Happy birthday dumbass!’
Poor egomaniac me. I guess I am not that important after all.
Thanks, Mr. Zuckerberg, for making that clear.
Anyway, it was a Sunday and I had my radio programme to attend in the afternoon. I had no intention of going out or whatever. 1st of all because I had no money and 2nd…because I HAD NO MONEY DAMMIT!  
I share the same birthdate with my brother. We were lucky this 2015 because one of our cool cousins took us out the night of the 7th and we had…quite some fun I must admit.
But that, my dear friend, is another story.
I am broke. What is the difference between being broke and being poor? Broke is temporary, poor is …well…not so temporary.
So, Sunday afternoon I ask my brother:
“So…dude…what’s the plan? Sharwarma(Bread with meat, potatoes chips and other soothingly harmful components)?
He smiles: “Are you buying?”
I’m like: “ Whaaaaaat?! I’m broke dude!”
“LOL( seriously, he LOLed) welcome to the club”.
And that was it.
I spent the day preparing for the programme. My dad called. My sisters had called the day before from boarding school. That’s the most we do in our family. We’re not (yet) the gift types. Looking back, one of the best gifts I had ever received was from my girlfriend at the time in 2010. She sent me money to organize a birthday party with a couple of friends. That was really cool. Thanks again Queenter. It’s been a while since we spoke and I know I owe you a lot. (P.S: I also know why you called me on the 7th of February. Thank you :)) 
Now, here’s why my 25th birthday rocked with neither a party nor money; do you remember how more than two weeks ago I met a girl? Yep. That was not just a poem. I really, really, REALLY met a girl. Well, guess what?
I love my new shirt. 
I Don’t Believe in Valentine’s Day
Please, don’t try to convince me oh! Let me explain. First of all, this is not a philosophical statement intended to spark decades of debates ending in a debacle for any one proponent. I just don’t think we, as a species, need to set a day aside to celebrate love. I think every day we should! Sooner or later, we all die-fact. So, do I really need to wait for the 14th of February to tell my girlfriend/boyfriend/mom/dad or whoever that I love them?
 I don’t think so. Then again, I am usually wrong.
I love you. Yes, you reading this because your time is precious, and you chose to read this post. I love you for that. Thank you.
So, like I was saying, I don’t believe in Valentine’s day for the simple reason that I won’t wait for a single day to do what I want which is (among other things like eat ice-cream in my room with just my underwear)  let the people I love and care about know that I love and care about them.
Wait…I forgot someone…I have to call Tsi now….gimme a minute.
Oh wait…I can’t my ol’ Blackberry just froze.  Maybe she (I am convinced my phone is a lady) is pissed because I did not wish her a happy Valentine’s Day.
She doesn’t read my blog I guess.
I spent my Valentine at home. All day. I watched ‘The Grand Budapest Hotel‘ and ‘Interstellar‘(great movies by the way, If you haven’t watched them, I suggest you do).  Then, I ‘tried’ to study. ‘Tried’ because I ended up reading the Y-combinator startup guide as usual( If you love startups, this is a must read. Download here) At least, my sunshine came in the evening when my girlfriend dropped-by.  While seeing her off, I noticed the couples craze on the streets of Molyko. Man! These dudes (and er…’dudettes’) really worship this Valentine’s Day. For the record, I also have issues with Christmas and other holidays as a whole. Don’t take this personal. You have a right to believe whatever you want(er…as long as you don’t hurt me…please). 
My girlfriend knows this and she hasn’t attempted to kill me.
Of Mountains and Men
I study at the University of Buea at the Foot of Mount Fako, the highest peak in west and central Africa. This year, the annual Buea Mountain race took place on the Valentine’s day. I have no idea who won the race. Did I mention I am a journalism major? Yep. I have no idea and I am supposed to know ‘everything newsy’.
That elucidates how uninterested I am in the race enterprise. I, however, have plans to get to the top of the said mountain next month.
Yes. You read right. I have been in Buea for 7 years and I have not been able to do that. 2015 is my year. My buddy Alex told me it was a near death experience. I am not into the adrenaline rush thing, but when he did, I almost had a brain orgasm. I MUST EXPERIENCE THAT COLD UP THERE!
I started my endurance training and had to pause for exams. As soon as I’m done, I’ll resume. You will definitely read of my experience and with graphic detail. 😀
So, there you have it. A few highlights of my month as at now. If you’ve made it so far, I am happy to have you. Thanks for being you.
P.S: I don’t believe in Valentine’s Day because I believe in life.
P.P.S: I wrote this whole post after seeing a really remarkable comment on one of my posts (Thanks Nkianti). Dear friend, your likes, comments, suggestions, shares all give me the motivation to continue. Without you, I am just another self-obsessed bipolar writer wannabe. I am truly grateful for you. And I implore your remarks-even requests-on my blog. I can’t thank you enough.
Live, laugh and love. Cheers.
T. Kamga.